Part I. cont.

OK. I am back to tell of my childhood before it ends. Yep, next year I turn 40, and must become an adult. Peter... Wendy, you can stay in Never Never Land but even though I acted the part and still do, I was already old when I came to La La land, which is synonymous with Never Never Land and make believe and Hollywood.

I was already an old men when we started to live in those apartment buildings in Tarzana. And now I am almost a child. I AM MORK FROM ORK THEN!!!

I keep getting distracted from the story don't I. I've been distracted for all of August in fact.
But that's another heartwarming story for another time and another dimension.

So many different families living in that complex. Were the two brothers I and my cousins played with Mexican? Or Central Americans? I can't even remember if they spoke Spanish. They must have. All I remember is the dirt clod wars in the empty lot next to our complex. It was quite dangerous now that I think about it. Sure the dried dirt would break if it hit you, but it still hurt alot, and what if it took out an eye?! It's all fair in love and war until someone puts an eye out. I remember learning how to swim in the swimming pool there; I panicked once and swallowed a lot of water before finally reaching the edge.
I remember some bully spitting into my hair. Later, I found out my grandmother got very angry. Not sure what she did about it though.
I remember cutting through different apartment complexes to reach school. There was a cul-de-sac. it ended with a wall and we hopped over that wall on the way home, again cutting though the apartment complexes. school was school. I was there briefly and I don't remember much. maybe the tables where we sat to eat lunch?
I remember cutting again through the back walls of more apartment to get to the liquor story and then the Park. We did a lot of "cutting" and walking on walls and into peoples patio didn't we? Eventually, they build another apartment complex in the empty lot next to our complex. But that was much later. Ta Re and Cau Le were in one apartment with gramma, my family was in the other. Where was Paulette, and once Danny was born where was he? And Tuan?
I remember watching Felix the Cat on TV in the mornings... before going to school?
I remember hiding underneath my parents bedroom. we must have shared the rooms. I only remember two bedrooms, my parents and the one I stayed in. Where were my sisters?

And that was living in Tarzana. That's is all I'm left with. It's natural that your memories fade. What was once so strong can't even be remembered anymore. Then we moved to Canoga Park finally. It's what I consider "Home". Ta Re and Cau Le still live there. I keep saying 1980 in my head for when we moved to Canoga Park, but I think it was earlier. I have to check with the Elders on this fact. Regardless, I was still an old man then and not yet a child.

Christ!!! It's really raining here in Tuebingen tonight!

This was the house where I lived, went to elementary school and then Junior High. This is where my parents couldn't stand each other anymore and broke. Then I lived with my Mom, but in the same neighborhood. First down the street one way, then the other way, then Lanark Park and I am already in High School... but I get ahead of myself.

Scott. Do you understand more where I'm coming from. We moved. So did you. not as much as some army brats but we moved around in our formulative years didn't we?

There's a knot in my stomach and I know why its there. It's there because I need it to be there. I have to learn. That's the lesson. I always have to learn. why? cuz a pretty girl told me so? that can't be the only reason. I need to learn to grow. to change.

funny thing is, the harder I try, the more I recognize this fact that I have to change, the more I become a BASIC person. The core stays remarkably simple, stable and same.
1. clear;
2. print"honesty";
3. poke(live);
4. goto 2;
5. end;

I would put in a finite loop, something like let year = 1, y=y+1, if y<100 goto 2 else end...
something like that but I was never a programmer. even in BASIC.

learn to effect change, or else what you learn is useless. you become UCOR.
that was Rohloff and ... christ! what is Tom's best man's name? doesn't matter.
UCOR stands for Useless Consumer Of Resources. But that was WAY after Canoga Park... that was after college, in Brentwood... which is now a long time ago too.

OK. I think that's good for tonight.

I hear distance rock music. It floats in to mingle with the solitary patter of drops almost raining.
I behave like a child in sophisticated mimicry 0f my age, unsure in footing, falling and tumbling cuz it's hard to walk straight with a foot in your mouth and a silly look on your face. One day a hard rain is going to fall, but I won't be a Taxi Driver, cuz the Way is too violent and saving young girls from prostitution is a boyhood fantasy.

goodnight.