It's a weird time for me.
It feels like my twenties. I've just finished my BS at UCLA, but I'm not really sure where to go next. There was.is no new information. I drift in the hand of God, and Brownian motion of our communities will eventually send.t me North. I write during dangerous times. Idle hands during ideal times.
Same, same but different. Now, my BS has turned magically into PhD, but what transmorgrification is next?
I know who and what I am; an average Joe. Well, technically I'm (average)^2. It's an old personal joke, but as with any old joke, there rings an odd minor 5th truth in the harmony.
I take calculated risks writing. Will all this be used as fodder to burn the weeds cropping up in our make-believe garden. A control burn to clear the underbrush for the longer lived Sequoias? I was.am too passive. If I were.am more aggressive, weed-like, I would have accomplished so much more.
Aggression versus passivity balanced on Occam’s Razor. The most parsimonious Solution too brutal, so we sit uncomfortably waiting for someone else to make the cut, to rearrange and make ourselves better. Or we wait for an Olympian bolt to catch the forest on fire, but the sky is clear and black. There are only points of light, tiny dots that move randomly in the night sky. We count them and create statistics. We form laws and algorithms to predict their movements, with each datum of new information incorporated in a Human Ideal Law.
The Discovered Paradox, to be absolutely average yet uniquely special. Have we formed an ideal Gas Law where the individual points in Euclidean space are sentient beings? What is the cognitive mechanism that determines why one point causes nucleation ? Why do we cluster around an ordinary point and call it Alpha? Why do we follow a Point into Absurdity? Why do we cluster and weed?
Imagine each point a different color, an endless multidimensional Seurat space populated with shades of humanity. Colorful sprites moving randomly, but the collisions are rarely elastic. Angry Birds of a colored feather flock together. Stickiness correlating significantly with Fear, even though Fear has long ago become uncoupled from predation. We cluster for many reasons, but Fear is the most ancient and most natural. We cluster and almost immediately forget we are weeds and begin to weed out the unwanted weeds. Objectively, Color correlates with Fear, yet there is no real causation until we believe there is. When we believe that Color kills, then it becomes real and kills. Green starts to weed out Blue, and then Emerald kills off Jade. Eventually, all Color is destroyed that don’t smell Minty Emerald Green.
Enough morning clustering of thoughts.
Time to apply for more jobs. A man has to pay the bills somehow!
“Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland?”